This guy looks like a real asshole.
I've been informed in a gauzy montage that he's an airline pilot and got dumped on The Bachelorette. I'm weeping, seriously.
ABC knows how to work pity, though, so I guess they gave him his own show.
Only that this ain't no normal The Bachelor. This is The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. I wish I were kidding.
So who is this chump, exactly? His name is Jake. He's a "nice guy." He's got pretty pectoral muscles. He's got very white teeth. He takes long, lonesome walks along the highway in Dallas. 'Cause that indicates that he's romantic. And hurting. Is there anyone in the world who thinks that shows like these have any connection to indexical "reality"?
Turns out he wants a "traditional marriage and family like the kind I grew up with." Cue photographs of Jake in a high school football uniform, Jake at graduation, and Jake in a 10-gallon Stetson. So apparently, fairy-tale romances are white, heteronormative, and have nothing to do with how people actually behave. This whole thing feels really perverse.
Gimme Joe Millionaire any day.